Friday, September 21, 2012

Plastics.

I don't like surprises. At.All. Not even personal birthday surprises.
I especially don't like receiving a bill in the mail for $675 of services from last October. That will not only send me into a panic, but also in total defensive and bad mood.

That has happened to me.

2 months ago, Hattiesburg Clinic (yes- I'll use their name because people in their billing department are complete idiots) mailed us a bill for $675.00

I fainted in the driveway.

Just when you are rockin' the face off of Dave Ramsey.....and you feel like you have it together.....one bill can throw your entire plan off.

I was mad about this bill. Especially when I realized they are charging us for services from LAST OCTOBER, NOVEMBER and DECEMBER!

HBC messed up on a few levels:
1. Telling me this bill is interest free.
2. Just now billing me from last year.

Don't tell me something is interest free when I am in the middle of buying curtains, rugs, fabric and fun stuff for my new house. When you utter the words "interest free"....you will now get-what-you-get when I want to give it.

So, I mailed them $100 in July. And, $100 in August.

Our bill is now $475.

I still don't like it. So, I called them a few weeks ago.

HBC: Thanks for calling HBC, how can I screw you over help you?

ME: Yes- I received a bill a few months ago, and I have since paid $200 towards my bill. Can you explain to me why I am just now being billed and what my TRUE balance is?

HBC: Sure Mrs. Jones, let me pull up your account.......blah, blah, blah. Oh, I see where your final bill with us is $275.

ME: HUH? Only $275??

HBC: Yes- I see where you have paid $200 to plastics as a pre-payment for your surgery.

ME: HUH? I'm sorry, did you say I've pre-paid for plastic surgery?

HBC: Yes ma'am. You paid $200 in January for what I'm showing as plastic surgery.

ME: Umm...Yeah, I'm not having plastic surgery.....and I haven't paid $200 for it. I think you have credited the wrong account.

HBC: No- this is correct. It's on your account. You paid this in January.

ME: Right. But, what I'm saying is that you, HBC, have made a mistake and you have credited the wrong account. I'm not having plastic surgery. The $200 is not mine.

HBC: But, it's on your account from January.

ME: Ok- let's try a different approach to this. I would like for you to cancel the plastic surgery that I did not sign up for. And I would like for you to credit the $200 that I didn't pay towards my account, which will leave my balance at $275. KAPISH!?!

HBC: No problem Mrs. Jones- I'm crediting your account right now.

This seriously happened to me. There comes a point, even when you are trying to do the right thing......that people are too stupid to realize it. I took some woman's $200 pre-surgery payment and now her nose-job will cost just a tad bit more.

I can handle a $275 interest free bill.

Payment schedule:
$100 in September
$100 in October
$75 in November

All will be well in the world, and I will have cash for the dining room rug that is on my wish list.